How to say goodbye
by chrysalis escapist
Summary: Without knowing Mac watches the same movie as Stella, and learns something from it ...


How to say goodbye

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, not Mac, not Stella, not the movie (**_**Starman, **_**which belongs to John Carpenter). I'm using some scenes from the movie, and the speech in italics is a direct quote from the movie.**

Stella pulls her feet up onto the couch and leans back. A glass of wine, a little snack, a movie – a promising evening. She curls into a stack of cushions and relaxes.

Watches a woman have a glass of wine and watch a video, of her husband and herself, singing a song of love, having fun. Watches Jenny being on the edge of tears because of the memories the video brings up, memories of her lost love.

The phone rings – in the movie. The man it belongs to, having been absorbed in watching a game of basketball, grabs the receiver and blurts "_Call me back in twenty minutes, will you? I'm …_" Stella smiles, knowing that feeling. Only that he would have missed the chance of a lifetime. She'd miss having to look at the end of a life.

Her phone rings. _Talk about life imitating art._ She presses the instant record button on her remote and takes the call.

"Bonasera."

It's Flack. And a case. Of course, what else …

"Sorry I'm disturbing you." he apologizes.

"Don't worry. I knew this could happen."

"I could also call Mac …" Flack doesn't get far with that suggestion.

"Don't even think of it. Let him have his evening off once in a lifetime. I'm only watching a movie, and I can finish that later." She's inwardly glad of that development in technology.

Flack gives her some details on the case and an address.

"I'll be there in about twenty minutes. See you."

She takes a last sip of wine and slips into her coat. A moment later the door falls shut behind her.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Mac leans back, a glass of wine on the coffee table at his side. A fair amount of time into the movie and his phone hasn't rung yet. He's beginning to relax.

He watches Jenny slowly beginning to trust the Starman a little bit, that man who looks exactly like her late husband Scott. Her nervousness lessens after he has told her the same words he had heard her speak to an animal, on that video: _'I mean you no harm.'_

Still, she's thinking of escaping. She tells 'Scott' how to get to Arizona on his own, and he wants to know why.

"_Better safe than sorry, eh? Just in case something should happen to me."_

"_Why should something happen to you?"_ he asks.

Looking at the picture of the real Scott and herself on their honeymoon she ponders, _"Who knows?"_

The Starman looks at the picture too, wants to know more. She explains.

"_Define 'love'." _the Scott sitting opposite her requests.

"_Love is …"_ Jenny breaks off, having to gather her composure,_ "It's when you care more for someone else than you do for yourself."_

She's on the point of escaping – then she sees what he can do. And she stays, helps _him _escape, first from a group of annoyed men, then from the police.

Mac is a bit torn at seeing this. Of course Scott has done nothing wrong and has hurt no one, but Mac's experience tells him that when somebody runs from the police – and thus in a way from him – that person has something to hide. Or otherwise causes trouble. It's just not a good thing.

Mac bends forward when he sees the gun in Scott's hand. He knows too well these things tend to go wrong. How many times has he stared down the barrel of a gun? Held in the hand of soldiers, criminals, or desperate people. And Stella? Surely not as often, but still … once is too often.

He blinks. For a moment it had seemed like …

It has gone wrong. Jenny wrestling for the gun, trying to keep Scott from shooting, from making a mistake. The policeman panicking, a shot fired. He understands the policeman, understands the reaction. But it has gone wrong and … for a moment … Jenny, now lying dead on the passenger seat, she had looked exactly like Stella. Mac swallows.

It could happen.

He holds his breath as Scott breaks through the barricades, and an overturned truck. He draws a long breath in as Scott carries Jenny through the flames, the angry fireball bursting from the truck. Orange curls hissing around them, their bodies forming a shadowy cross, framed in a blue light.

_Live every day as if it were your last._ That's one thing, but what about the people in your life? And what if the concern that it really might be your or their last day is becoming too strong, too black a cloud?

Jenny lies stretched on the floor of a house, one of those houses that are moved across the country. On and on, into the night, lights coming on. A red glow from Scott's hand, using up another one of those grey orbs, for her.

That can't happen. Much as Mac might want it to. He'd walk through fire for Stella, but he can't do _that_ for her. And will it eventually be enough to protect her in every way he can?

And Mac sees Jenny wake up, alone, because Scott has decided it's too much of a risk for her to be with him. But like Stella she has her own thoughts about that, and she finds him again, and keeps him from being caught in another roadblock.

Their journey continues, together. Coming closer to each other towards their destination. The place from where 'Scott' will go home again, and Jenny …

"_Take me with you!"_she throws her arms around him.

"_I canno__t."_

"_Please!"_

"_You will die there."_ he says.

"_I don't think I care."_

"_I care. Now … tell me again__ how to say goodbye."_

"_Kiss me … and tell me __you love me."_

They say goodbye, and he leaves, Jenny following him with her eyes, all the way up into the sky.

The screen goes black. Mac closes his eyes, feels the theme music continue to weave its way into him.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

He approaches the glass, looks through it at Stella. So unusually still and quiet. What could be going through her mind?

She looks up when he enters the room, a wistful smile, still appears to be lost in her thoughts.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," she nods, "I was just thinking of something, remembering. Don't worry."

He looks into her eyes, nods slowly, "Okay."

His pager goes off. Another case.

A heartbeat away from leaving, he looks at her again. One step, and leaning forward he brushes a kiss across her cheek.

_Kiss me …_

He turns to leave.

"Mac?" there's an uncharacteristic quiver in her voice.

He turns back. Looks into her eyes again, filled with questions.

"Yes?" He waits for her to speak.

_I will see you again, won't I__?_ Her eyes search his.

Her hand is on her cheek. "What …, I mean, why …, are you …, will you …?" She falls silent again, trying to work out what to say, what she has just felt.

There's something he recognizes in her eyes. Could she have watched the same movie? But he knows that she had been called out to a case.

"What did you …" they both start at the same time, signal at the same time for the other to continue.

Sensing what the question was going to be Stella tells Mac which movie she had continued to watch after coming home from the case. And he doesn't have to tell her he had watched the same one. He doesn't have to tell her how it had made him feel. She doesn't have to tell him how he has just made her feel.

They repeat the goodbye.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

She stands, looking through the glass walls of Mac's empty office, traces reflections with her eyes. More and more lights are being switched on. Her shift is over. She doesn't want to go home.

_I am determined to live every day of my lif__e to the fullest._ But to do that without him is an option she had never wanted to consider.

And suddenly the possibility is too prominent in her mind.

Glass walls, like an illustration of distance, close enough to see but too far to touch.

But he's not behind those glass walls.

One thought overtaking her mind. _What if this _is_ the last day?_

Her hand rests on the transparent material of his door. She sees his smile in it, hasn't heard him approach. She sees his smile mirrored in the glass, reflecting onto her face.

"Hey," his hand is on her upper arm, "how was your day?"

Her smile deepens. Her day hadn't been bad, but now it has just become decidedly better.

"Good. Did you get anything to eat yet?" is her question.

"Nothing proper, would you like to come along when I change that?"

She nods in reply. A few moments and they are ready to leave. Waiting for the elevator to come to their floor they stand, look at each other, smile. They know they will do this more often.

The thought returns to the back of their minds, where it belongs.

* * *

Many thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Please don't hesitate to let me know what you think. All comments are appreciated, and all logged reviews replied to.


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